So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
