I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
