I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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