He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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