so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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