You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
