you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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