Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Couch. On fire.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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