Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
BRING THE BAGELS
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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