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• (863): View more from Florida

  haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Public safety found my id!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?

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• (310): View more from California

  You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night

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• (607): View more from New York

  Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.

  (845): View more from New York

  Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  How did you tell her we met?

  (1-318): View more from Louisiana

  I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.

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