I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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