Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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