sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I deserve this hangover.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
