That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
