I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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