butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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