There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
