You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
