To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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