I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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