just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize