I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
