i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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