Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
