Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
