You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
