just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
