i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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