Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
