Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
do herpes really smell.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All the doctor said was why
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
