my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
