I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize