Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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