I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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