On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
