i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
