i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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