Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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