Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
