is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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