I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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