Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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