...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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