Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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