she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
