That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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