hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
