So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize