the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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