He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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