If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
