I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
