i permit you to call me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
