Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
