I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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