moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
