girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He better not be in your backpack
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
