just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
