Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There r osticjed everywhere
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
as a side note pls kill me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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