your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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