I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
