Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
