The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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