I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
