You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
