Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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